Tuesday, July 29, 2008

he Episcopal Church as a Dysfunctional Family

http://www.virtueonline.org/portal/modules/news/article.php?storyid=8735

[Virtue Online] 29 Jul 2008--"We recommend that the Pastoral Forum develop a scheme in which existing ad hoc jurisdictions could be held "in trust" in preparation for their reconciliation within their proper Provinces. Such a scheme might draw on models derived from religious life (the relationship of religious orders to the wider Church), family life (the way in which the extended family can care for children in dysfunctional nuclear families) or from law (where escrow accounts can be created to hold monies in trust for their rightful owner on completion of certain undertakings. Ways of halting litigation must be explored, and perhaps the escrow concept could even be extended to have some applicability here."

For nearly two decades I worked with children who had been abused within their nuclear families. I know what a dysfunctional family looks like. I also know that the very systems intended to save children from the life-long effects of abuse frequently do more harm than good.

It is common practice for Children and Youth Services organizations to remove only the victims of abuse from the nuclear family, leaving behind the rest of the children. Those left behind become the next generation of abused children within the same family.

The press conference from Lambeth today, revealed a similar attitude toward the victims of abuse within the nuclear family. While offering foster care to the children who ran away from home because they could no longer tolerate the abusive patterns of behavior within the family, they did nothing to protect the many kids at home who cannot find refuge from the same abuse. (Notice the word "existing" in the above quoted paragraph) The press conference made this point very clear. The "in trust" provision applies only to those who have already departed TEC. I suppose the rest of the kids are expected to continue to suffer.

It is very sad that Lambeth appears to believe that the parents will be healed from their addiction to abuse and those children in "foster care" will eventually return home to their loving family. To say that this is rarely the case is an extreme understatement.

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